***Warning***
Some of these quotes are disgusting, and I apologize beforehand.
Some of these quotes occurred in the doctor's office, at work, or in the comforts of our home...
- If going to the bathroom was an Olympic event, I would be a gold medal winner.
- Do you want to die naturally, or at the hands of your wife? (I never said this to Erik, I swear)
- Pregnancy is the best job I've ever had.
- I growled at someone today.
- Take that!
- You have to be the happiest 8.5 month pregnant woman I've ever seen.
- Erik gets 9 months of me being a designated driver...I get 18 years. That is our arrangement.
- How many pregnant wives go out to McDonald’s to pick up food for their husbands at 1 in the morning?
- I've given up. I'm at the whim of my body - I know not what my body is doing these days.
- Can I call the doctor to find out what you all are having?
- Scratch your butt for good luck.
Honorary mentions:
- I just farted the 1812 overture down the hall.
- I’m doing everything in my power to make the delivery easy, everything but installing a slip and slide up my ho-ha.
- Every hole has been violated.
- I am not your hobby.
- Hiccups echoing thru my ho-ha, that is how I know the baby has descended.
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